Fallout
by mickyd
Summary: This was an idea that sprang up from the episode Intoxicated and I just couldn't let it go. It deals with the repercussions from the deal Casey made and the motivations behind it.
1. Default Chapter

Story Title: Fallout

Chapter Title: 1

Pairings: None at this time

Show: Law and Order SVU

Warnings: Spoilers for Intoxicated

Summary: I know there have been a lot of missing scene fics for Intoxicated but I had this idea that just wouldn't go away. What happens when the prosecution obviously throws a case. Anyway this turned out to be a lot longer than a missing scene fic and I haven't quiet decided where it's going to go. My characters have revolted against the original ending and I'm still waiting to see how this turns out. (I could make a comment on how sad the states of affairs are for an individual when they can't even keep their imagination in line, but I like maintaining the fantasy of being in complete control over my domain :o) Reviews and comments are not only appreciated but have been known to sway the course of my stories.

Casey dropped her briefcase on the floor next to the door. Rubbing her eyes tiredly she stopped to pick up the phone punching in the code for her messages. It was an indication of just how exhausted she was that she didn't even bother to pull out a pen and write down numbers for return calls.

Casey alternated between the save and erase button barely allowing the message to play before making her choice. After the last voice finished Casey pressed the off button before tossing the phone onto her bed. Turning her attention to the dresser Casey pulled out a set of pajamas before heading for the shower.

Twenty minutes later she was slipping into the smooth silk before toweling dry her hair. Casey hung the damp towel on a rack before flicking off the light and entering her bedroom. Casey eyed her bed wistfully. She was exhausted but her mind was racing making any chance of sleep remote. With a sigh she turned away searching out her briefcase to work on her closing argument for the Carrie Eldridge trial.

Casey tried to review her notes but Olivia's words in the bar earlier in the evening kept returning to distract her. Casey had slowly managed to build a rapport with the detectives in the SVU over the past eighteen months. But her relationship with Olivia had been especially difficult to build filled with a number of inadvertent pitfalls over the past couple of months. The two women were still on rocky footing after their last misunderstanding and Casey had been completely unprepared for the intimate turn the conversation had taken tonight.

Olivia's revelations regarding her relationship with her mother had stunned Casey. The young ADA had struggled to find words that seemed inadequate even as they left her lips. Casey had no idea why the detective had decided to share such personal information with her tonight. Casey closed her eyes as her fingers massaged her temple once again trying to ease away the frustration she was feeling.

Olivia had asked her to basically throw a case that was already won. The girl had killed her mother. Not only was that a fact but the defendant had confessed to it. Olivia was asking Casey to weigh the circumstances of an abusive alcoholic parent. Circumstances that were assumed, not proven into evidence Casey acknowledged mentally.

If Casey made a deal it was going to be based strictly on Olivia's observations and conclusions. The victim in this case, Denise Eldridge, would never have the opportunity to defend herself against the accusations. The prosecution spoke for the victims when they couldn't speak for themselves. It was a belief Casey had gained faith in completely during her time with SVU. Giving Carrie Eldridge a deal would basically be laying a judgment down on the victim in this case, blaming Denise Eldridge for her own death.

Casey leaned back against the couch staring at the ceiling as she wrestled with the dilemma. She strained to remember just when the law had stopped being black and white. Casey slipped the papers back into the folder before rising up from the couch. There was no way she could concentrate on the closing summary right now. Pacing into the kitchen she pulled out a bottle of wine pouring a glass before retreating to the living room.

Glancing at her watch she realized that it was only nine. Still a reasonable hour to call her sister in Arizona. Picking up the phone she hoped Ellie would have some spare time to chat.

Casey listened as the judge outlined the plea agreement with Carrie Eldridge. Casey acknowledged the DA's agreement to the terms watching as Carrie absorbed her sentence. The bailiff escorted the defendant out of the room and Casey pulled her briefcase off the table her mind already on the work sitting at her desk. Simone Bryce stepped crossed over from the defense table delaying Casey's exit.

"She'll be confined to the juvenile facility but no hard time," Casey said watching the attorney.

"I polled the jury. You had your murder two conviction." Simone probed.

"I know," Casey replied her eyes dropping to the plea agreement in Simone's hands.

"Then why did you make the deal?" Bryce asked in confusion.

Casey couldn't answer the question. She had wrestled half the night with the information Olivia had given her and the request. Even now she wasn't certain she had truly given the victims, mother and daughter, justice in this case or how much of her personal feelings she had let play in the final decision.

Simone Bryce looked away to focus on the woman Casey knew was sitting in the back of the courtroom. Casey could not bring herself to look at the detective but she could see the clear understanding that flooded Simone Bryce's face. The lawyer knew Olivia had a hand in the agreement Casey had chosen to offer even if she didn't know the details.

Casey gripped the strap on her shoulder tighter suddenly in a hurry to escape the defense lawyer's scrutiny. Casey wavered for a minute before opting for the side exit reserved for officers of the court. She couldn't handle facing Olivia or any more questions from Simone Bryce right now. Letting her hand slide down the strap Casey gripped the briefcase firmly before spinning on her heel to quickly seek out the exit hoping to reach to her office without any stops.

Casey felt the slam of her office door reverberate through her body. Liz Donnelly's words echoed from the royal ass chewing she had just been handed.

"What did you think you were doing handing out a plea bargain like this in the Carrie Eldridge case!" Liz Donnelly had demanded as she stormed into Casey's office slamming the agreement onto the ADA's desk.

Casey managed not to cringe under the scornful gaze of her boss.

"The girl was the victim of an abusive parent. We make deals all the time for battered spouses. This is no different," Casey countered.

"Bull Casey. There is nothing in the depositions or trial testimony that shows Carrie Eldridge was an abused child," Liz corrected.

Casey knew this was coming, "It was revealed in follow up interviews. I didn't see any reason to introduce it at trial. You know how quickly juries side with victims of domestic abuse these days. I made the deal that would guarantee that she didn't walk," Casey replied smoothly.

Liz Donnelly glared at the young prosecutor making it clear that the argument did not stand up. "It's not our job to judge the defendant. That's why we have a judge and jury. A jury I might add that was ready to convict the defendant on murder two," Donnelly's look dared Casey to contradict her.

Casey refused to back down under the scathing gaze. "I did what I thought was right."

"It's a very slippery slope you're standing on counselor. When you start circumventing the system to suit your own beliefs you're no longer serving the needs of the victim or this office," Donnelly assured her.

Casey stopped breathing for a second not sure exactly what Donnelly meant by her last statement. Donnelly watched her seemingly satisfied that Casey was finally understanding the gravity of her position.

"Starting today for the next six months you will not offer a single plea without first clearing it through me. If you make any amendments to any indictments I don't care if it's just to drop a parking ticket without clearing it first you're on suspension. I hope the Carrie Eldridge case was worth it Casey. Because it's your career you just put on the line. There is no room in the DA's office for a lawyer pursuing their own personal agenda," Donnelly warned.

'_Unless you're the DA,' _Casey thought to herself. Common sense however kept her lips sealed.

Donnelly seemed to be satisfied that her point had been made. In seconds she was gone as quickly as she had arrived, the slamming door punctuating the Deputy DA's displeasure.

Casey let out a pent up breath shakily pushing around the pens resting on her desk. Donnelly's reaction to the plea had been far worse than Casey had imagined. Of all the possible consequences she had considered when making the Eldridge deal it costing Casey her job was not one that have even seemed a remote possibility.

Casey felt the unwanted tears spring up as she absorbed the ramifications of her actions. Pulling a tissue out of the drawer she angrily dabbed at her eyes trying to regain her composure. Casey chalked her reaction up to the exhaustion her body felt from less than two hours sleep last night coupled with her own doubts over the plea agreement. Donnelly had hit on every point that Casey herself had considered before making the offer. None of her doubts fully laid to rest even after she finished drafting the agreement.

A knock distracted her from her own misery. Casey stuffed the tissue into the open drawer before calling out. Olivia Benson pushed open the door entering the room hesitantly.

Casey watched the detective move closer to her desk Olivia's discomfort obvious.

"What can I do for you Olivia?" Casey asked tiredly.

"I wanted to tell you I think you did the right thing this morning and thank you," Olivia answered.

Casey found she didn't have the energy to assuage her own demons much less the detectives. She gave Olivia a thoughtful look as she debated her response.

"Casey?" Olivia finally said as the silence stretched out.

"Olivia, please leave," Casey requested surprising herself as much as the detective.

"What?" Olivia didn't seem to believe her ears.

"I'm tired and I'm not sure I can discuss this right now without saying something I might regret. Please, just," Casey let the sentence hang hoping Olivia would understand.

The detective took a moment before filling the request. Olivia paused at the door and Casey waited for words that never came. Olivia shook her head giving Casey an apologetic look before exiting the office.

Casey stared at the open door amazed that her spirits could sink any lower. Leaning back in her chair she stared at the ceiling as Liz Donnelly's words came back to haunt her. "I hope Carrie Eldridge was worth it," …. "So do I," Casey mumbled in response.


	2. Truth and Consequences

Story Title: Fallout

Chapter Title: Truth and Consequences

Pairings: None Yet

Series: Law and Order SVU

Spoilers: References to Intoxicated, Loss, and Ghost

Summary: See story description under first chapter.

Casey dropped the remnants of her frozen dinner in the trashcan before refilling her wine glass. Trudging back into the living room she gave the untouched files on her coffee table a guilty look. Her week had steadily gone downhill since the plea on the Eldridge case Tuesday.

It had cumulated in a screaming match with Olivia at the station this afternoon. Casey sent a silent thanks to the powers that be that today was Friday. She shoved the paperwork back into her bag unwilling to face the cases she had chosen to abandon in lieu of a mediocre bottle of wine. 'After all what was the point of wasting good wine when the sole intent was getting drunk' Casey acknowledged honestly.

Propping her feet up on the coffee table Casey reclined against the back of the couch letting her wine glass rest comfortably on her stomach. Closing her eyes the scene with Olivia earlier in the day returned to taunt her.

"What do you mean you can't offer a deal! The bastard is willing to tell us where he left the other three bodies if you take the death penalty off the table. These families need closure Casey! He's agreed to consecutive sentences, he'll never see parole. Why are you waffling on making this deal?" Olivia demanded her voice rising with every syllable.

Casey took the detective's demands in stride trying to diffuse the situation before it became more heated. She noticed Elliot out of the corner of her eye. He seemed to be wavering between stepping in and letting the two women work out the disagreement on their own.

Casey knew he had noticed the increased friction between them this week. She also felt his confusion as he perched on the fence not sure if he should step in or not. Casey registered his decision by the look on Elliot's face as he eyed his partner before turning his attention to her. It said everything she needed to know, he was going to back Olivia up even if he didn't know what was going on. For some reason the knowledge only served to irk her further.

"I can't make a deal without clearing it through Donnelly first. She's not in the office and I am waiting for her to return my messages now," Casey managed through clenched teeth the anger quickly burning out as the mind numbing exhaustion, from the constant fight that seemed to be her professional life, took its place.

"Give me a break. You've made bigger deals before. Since when do you need permission to do your job? This unit needs an ADA capable making their own decisions without running back to the boss for approval. We don't have time for lawyers more interested in covering their ass than making tough choices. Peoples lives are at stake here," Olivia accused bitterly.

"Liv," Elliot broke in admonishing his partner.

The words stung and Casey refused to look at the detectives as she forced back the tears from the unwarranted attack. That Olivia felt that she needed to be told that almost hurt worse than the words themselves.

"Just say it!" Casey found the thought out before she had even finished thinking it.

She looked around at the different faces and the obvious confusion generated by her demand. She glanced over seeing Cragen make his way out of the office drawn by the heated discussion.

Casey felt her anger growing the words passing through her lips unchecked. "Just say it. If Alex Cabot was here she would make the deal. Alex 'the oh so perfect Cabot' who never let you down. The woman who was so dedicated that she was willing to give up her life and go into witness protection in the fight for justice." Casey took in their shocked looks but she didn't care she was on a roll now. Three nights of no sleep and the deep freeze she had fallen victim to in her own office and the precinct this week had worn her down to a single raw nerve. The truth was her anger had been slow to build and the latest had just fallen at the right time to be come the proverbial straw that broke the camels back.

Cragen seemed ready to step in and cut her off but Casey didn't give him the chance. "I've got news for you detectives. The ADA you remember was a fantasy, she worked her ass off and put her share of criminals behind bars but she was just as limited in her powers as I am. But it doesn't matter how successful she was. I can promise you she busted a gut trying to meet your demands that always seem to demand just a little more. Fixing the holes you punched in cases when you decided to cross the line, making deals to get what you needed for your next collar, standing up in court trying to string together a conviction based solely on the faith that you," Casey punctuated the next with a point finger, " her detectives, were right in your suspicions about a perp." Casey paused giving them each a hard glare. Cragen seemed to have forgotten whatever he was going to say as his shocked look joined that of his detectives. They were all stunned into silence as they watched expectantly, the ADA obviously not finished with her tirade. Casey didn't disappoint.

"And all of it for what? When she won it was because of the work you did, and when she lost it was because she fucked up a perfectly solid case. They say the burnout rate is high for detectives in this unit but I would be willing to bet it is even higher for their A.D.A.'s. You chew them up and spit them out without a second glance. Secure that your pursuit of justice gives you the right to do whatever you think you have to as long as the endd result is you win," Casey knew the last reflected more how she felt but she had no doubt Alex Cabot had felt the same on a certain level. She had known Alex before she joined SVU and watched the woman be slowly ground down by the impossible expectations the detectives and job had placed upon her.

Casey wasn't done but her phone rang shattering the temporary lull. Casey fumbled in her coat angrily snatching out the offending instrument. She registered the caller ID a split second before pressing the answer button. "Novak," she bit out angrily.

"Catch you at a bad time?" the sarcastic lilt of Liz Donnelly's voice only served to send Casey a little further out on the edge.

"I need to make a deal on the Roberts case. He'll only give us the location of the other three bodies if we take the death penalty off the table," Casey answered straight to the point. There was a pause on the other end of the phone.

"Will he offer a guilty plea on all five murders in court with consecutive sentencing?" Donnelly asked all business now.

"No, I thought maybe I would have the detectives' drop him off at Coney Island for hot dogs and ice cream when he was done telling us where he hid the three bodies!" Casey practically shouted into the phone. A very small part of her brain that still seemed to be behaving logically jumped up and down trying to reign in the ADA. Casey absently silenced the last vestiges of common sense that still seemed to be functioning. She almost took pleasure in the bewildered looks the detectives were shooting back and forth while Casey single handedly shredded what was left of her career.

"Casey, what is going on?" Donnelly tried to take a reasonable tact with the obviously upset A.D.A.

"Yes, or No, Liz. The detectives feel the DA's office is dragging their feet on this case because the A.D.A.can't possibly understand the gravity of the situation before her. So now that I have run back to mommy for permission to make a deal, give me an answer," Casey demanded.

The silence on the other end drug on and for a minute Casey was certain that Liz Donnelly was going to hang up and call Cragen with orders to lock Casey up until she could be hauled into the loony bin.

"Make the deal, and then I want you back in your office for a meeting. I'll be there in thirty minutes," Liz promised disconnecting before Casey could refuse.

Casey hung up the phone slamming her briefcase on Elliot's desk. Rummaging through the folders she pulled out the agreement she had drafted while waiting for Donnelly's approval. She tossed it out forcefully, enjoying the loud thwack it made as it hit the surface.

"There's your agreement. Go get the information you need," Casey offered as she zipped her briefcase shut.

"Casey," Elliot stepped forward an apologetic look on his face.

Casey held her hand up stopping him. "Don't bother. I seriously doubt you have to worry about me being you're A.D.A anymore. If you'll excuse me I have a meeting with my very pissed off boss in," Casey looked at her watch. "Twenty-five minutes."

Casey turned on her heel stalking out of the squad room. She wasn't sure what surprised her more. The tirade she had just subjected the detective's too or the fact that she didn't care.

"Can someone tell me what the hell just happened?" Cragen requested.

All eyes turned to Olivia. "What?" she demanded with raised hands.

"Liv, you two have been going at it like cats and dogs since the Eldridge plea. Whatever is eating her started there," Elliot said reasonably.

"I don't know what's going on. She's barely talked to me since Tuesday morning," Olivia confessed.

"Fine," Cragen cut in, " Elliot you and Olivia go in and get Roberts information. John you and Fin get a line on where the parents of the three missing kids are. As soon as we find the bodies the story is going to break. I would prefer they hear it from us and not on the nightly news," Cragen directed.

Cragen watched his detective's peel off before returning to his desk and scrolling through the rolodex for Liz Donnelly's number.

Casey opened her eyes staring at the ceiling as her thoughts returned to the present. Her anger had long faded but she could find no regrets for the words she had spoken at the station house. The thoughts could have been better phrased but there was nothing she had said that Casey did not truly feel.

Taking a sip from the wine glass Casey's thoughts retreated to the meeting with Donnelly.

Casey was calmly working at her desk when Liz Donnelly arrived. Casey barely spared her boss a glance before returning her attention to the file on her desk.

Donnelly shut the door quietly before claiming the chair in front of Casey's desk. Casey refused to speak letting the silence draw out. Donnelly patiently waited until Casey finally set her pen down on the desk before leaning back in her chair to eye her boss.

"So, am I fired?" Casey asked without preamble.

"Is that what you're hoping for?" Donnelly replied watching the lawyer's reaction carefully.

"You've tied my hands. I can't be running back to you for every plea agreement. It cuts down my credibility with the squad and the court," Casey replied.

"You made your choice when you over stepped you authority in the Eldridge case. No one did this to you but yourself. These are the consequences Casey," Donnelly reminded her.

"You've made your point Liz," Casey responded.

"I don't think I have. You let a defendant guilty of murder two walk with a slap on the wrist. It showed poor judgment," Donnelly accused.

Casey shot out of her chair her hands landing on her desk forcefully. "Don't you think I gave that plea careful consideration? I didn't just wake up on Tuesday morning and decide I was going to give Carrie Eldridge a pass on murdering her mother," Casey said bitterly.

"Don't you think I have my doubts? Did I do the right thing? Was her story true? Will she do it again? Was this a one time event brought on by a long history of abuse? Did I short change the victim laying down a judgment on the worthiness of her life against that of her daughter?" Casey paced around the office her agitation obvious as the string of questions fell from her lips.

"Give me some credit Liz. I looked at the new information that came to light just before the Jury was about to go into deliberations. I could not introduce any new evidence after resting my case without Petrovsky dismissing with prejudice which would have meant no retrial and I couldn't bring myself to allow her to walk completely. I don't have to tell you that Simone Bryce wouldn't have been able to get a new trial based on evidence she knowingly withheld the first go around. I was between a rock and a hard place and end the end I trusted the instincts of the detective's in the squad and I made a choice that I hope prevented Carrie Eldridge from becoming one more number lost in the system."

Casey slowed down her voice losing some of its anger. "You can accuse me of making the wrong choice but don't you dare sit there and tell me I didn't think it through," Casey demanded. She returned to her chair her legs nearly failing her as she realized how precariously close to the edge she was skating with her job. If she hadn't lost it already. She waited for Liz's response.

Liz nodded thoughtfully. "That was a much better argument than simply stating that you thought it was the right thing to do. Maybe if you had tried that when I asked you why you made the plea I wouldn't have placed the supervisory restriction on your cases," Liz informed her.

Casey couldn't quiet wrap her mind around what Liz was trying to say. "I don't understand."

"I've been in the DA's office twenty years Casey. I've seen my share of hot shot lawyers come and go. Here it doesn't matter how smart you are but how well you play by the rules. Justice isn't blind I don't give a damn what your law professors told you. But there are enough pressures influencing the cases we try everyday without adding the personal prerogatives of the prosecutors." Liz paused seeming to choose her next words carefully.

"We have to walk a fine line when we make deals with defendants. Most of the time it's routine but sometimes there are choices that have to be made that leave you wondering why you ever chose to practice law in the first place. I have watched some very good lawyers succumb to the temptation of their office. Bending rules past the breaking point to get the convictions they believe are just." Liz leaned forward piercing Casey with an intense gaze.

"It's a very easy slope to slide down and it starts slowly one case at a time until the line becomes so blurred you're in a free fall before you know it. I know from personal experience." Liz admitted.

"If you think it's hard trying a case and sending a man to prison think about how it would feel if you cut corners doing it only to find out 6 years later that he wasn't guilty to start with. Trust me there is nothing that will assuage that guilt ever." Liz promised her mind briefly flashing to Eric Plummer.

"So if you think I was hard on you, your right, and I had my reasons," Liz assured her.

Liz stood giving Casey a thoughtful look. "You're free to plead out your cases without clearing them with me first. Don't make me regret my decision," Liz warned her.

Casey nodded understanding that Donnelly would not let her by so easily next time. The Deputy DA definitely had a way of making her point. Casey felt like she had been run through a wringer the last four days.

"Do yourself a favor Casey. Go home, put away your briefcase, and enjoy your weekend. You look like you could use a rest," Liz advised.

Casey nodded slightly agreeing with her boss. Donnelly turned as she reached the door tossing out one final order.

"And on Monday morning go make nice with your detective's. Oh and don't be surprised if you get a few calls over the weekend from colleagues wondering if the rumor that you had a nervous breakdown in the squad room of the one-six is true. Remember they wouldn't gossip about you if they didn't care," Liz assured her with a wicked gleam in her eye before slipping through the door.

The door buzzer drew her from her thoughts. Casey sighed tiredly as she climbed to her feet. The dyslexic boyfriend of the woman in the apartment across from her was always hitting Casey's call key by mistake.

Shuffling over to the intercom she pressed the answer key. "Yes."

"Casey?" Olivia's disembodied voice floated through the box.

Casey groaned as she leaned her forehead against the wall. Just when she thought this week couldn't possibly get any worse. "And who said God didn't have a sense of humor," she grumbled to herself. For just a minute she entertained the fantasy that maybe if she clicked her heels together three times she could go back to Monday and none of this would have happened. The steady ring of the call button reminded her there were no do overs in real life. They were the stuff of childhood and the movies. Casey pressed the release for the downstairs door holding it a few extra seconds to insure Olivia had time to enter the lobby.

Draining the last of the wine in her glass Casey slowly refilled it as she mentally counted off the seconds until Olivia knocked on her door.


	3. Cause and Effect

Series: Law and Order SVU

Story Title: Layers

Chapter Title: Cause and Effect

Spoilers: References to Intoxicated

Pairings: Implied C/O

Summary- See main chapter

Casey hesitated before pulling open the door to face her unexpected guest.

"Olivia," Casey greeted making no effort to invite the detective in.

"Hey Casey," Olivia stood stoically under Casey's cool gaze.

"Can I come in?" Olivia finally requested when it became obvious that Casey had no intention of giving her even an inch.

Casey stepped back giving Olivia a brief nod. Casey pushed the door shut before breezing past her guest and into the kitchen. Olivia watched as Casey filled her glass from a nearly empty bottle.

"Would you like some wine?" Casey asked.

"Sure," Olivia responded.

"Glasses are in the cabinet to the right of the sink," Casey informed her as she passed by.

Olivia raised her eyebrows in surprise. 'Okay, maybe this is going to be a little harder than I anticipated,' she thought to herself. Olivia took her time finding the glass and filling it before following Casey into the living room. She found the lawyer on the couch her feet propped up on the coffee table. Casey eyed her with curiosity. Olivia took a seat in the easy chair almost directly across from Casey. She took a sip of her wine before setting it down on the table.

"What are you doing here Olivia?" Casey demanded tiredly.

"We drew straws, I lost," Olivia joked weakly.

"Nice," Casey replied dryly before resting her head against the couch and redirecting her gaze to the ceiling.

"Casey, I'm sorry. Cragen told me he talked to Donnelly and how she punished you for making the Eldridge deal," Olivia apologized in a rush.

"It doesn't matter Olivia. Just forget it," Casey replied too tired and disappointed to fight with the detective anymore.

"You're not making this very easy Casey," Olivia said in irritation.

The words served to draw Casey out of her lethargy. "You have got to be kidding me. I'm not making this easy?" the words were uttered with obvious disbelief.

"You've barely had five words to say to me since you kicked me out of your office on Tuesday. How am I supposed to fix this if I don't even know why you're upset?" Olivia tried to reason.

Casey gave Olivia a searching look shaking her head when she failed to find whatever she was looking for. "You told Elliot to call me and let it slip that you had met with Carrie Eldridge and Simone Bryce?"

The accusation was spoken quietly but Olivia flinched as if it had been delivered with a shout. A guilty look crossed her face before she looked away refusing to meet Casey's eyes.

"If you wanted my help all you had to do was ask. You didn't have to play on my emotions," Casey promised.

"It's not what you think Casey," Olivia protested.

"I think it is," Casey stood pacing the room. "When Simone Bryce asked me why I plead out Carrie I didn't have an answer ready for her. She just looked at me for a minute and then she looked at you. It was written all over her face, she knew it was because of you, and about the same time she reached that conclusion so did I," Casey confessed.

Olivia opened her mouth to speak but no words came forth. She closed it swallowing thickly as she watched her fingers lace themselves together.

"Elliot's pretty smooth, I never suspected a thing. A quick call asking where his partner was. The last he had heard you were in a meeting with Eldridge and her lawyer." Casey laughed bitterly remembering the conversation. "Then he mentions he's supposed to meet you for a drink after. You knew I would hunt you down for meeting with them and not including me," Casey finished. She crossed her arms leaning back against the wall waiting for Olivia to respond. I don't remember this in the show. Is it your invention for the story? Just curious. (Yeah that was my invention- Can't help it I felt like there was a little inconsistency with Casey just happening to know what bar Olivia was in when she wanted to talk to her. Now if only I could cover my little plot holes)

Olivia stood taking a few steps toward Casey before stopping. "So, you think you have it all figured out? Do you really think I would be anything less than honest with you?" Olivia questioned a trace of hurt in her voice.

"You forget who you're talking to Detective. I've seen all of you throw caution to the wind once you're personally involved. I don't think there's a piece of yourself you wouldn't have traded to save Carrie Eldridge even if it meant playing on the fact that I care for you more than I should," Casey's voice quivered slightly her emotions rising to the surface.

Olivia's gaze softened. "Casey, there was no master plan," If the situation wasn't so serious Olivia might have found the idea humorous. But Olivia had a feeling that there were some things that should have been cleared up long before now. If there was any chance of straightening this out Olivia was going to have to be completely honest with the A.D.A.

"You're right, Elliot knew I was at the bar. He knew I had met with Carrie and Simone and that I was upset. We argued over whether or not I needed company and I made it very clear that I wanted to be alone," Olivia laughed reflecting on Casey's earlier comment.

"You're right about how bull headed we get when we become personally invested in something. He decided I didn't need to be alone and he cooked up a way to get you out there on his own," Olivia revealed.

"Why?" Olivia noticed Casey had left out the 'me' in her question.

Olivia crossed her arms shrugging as she looked away trying to find the right words. "I," Olivia stalled to a stop finding this much harder then she had anticipated.

"Oh God, you told him," the last was barely audible from behind the hands covering Casey's face.

Olivia cringed as she absorbed the steady mumbled mantra of embarrassment from the lawyer. "It wasn't like that, nothing specific, honest. He just knows me too well and he guessed," Olivia assured Casey in a rush.

"This is great, just great," the sarcasm dripped from Casey's voice as she paced away from Olivia raising her hands in the air to punctuate her comments. "Why is it that when I think things just can't get any worse someone shows up to prove me wrong, and they are usually connected to the SVU in some way, shape or form?" Casey demanded shooting Olivia a bewildered look.

Olivia tried not to smile. The A.D.A.'s embarrassment was certainly not a source of amusement to her but for some reason the conversation had taken a turn that tickled her funny bone. Olivia looked everywhere but toward the A.D.A petrified she would slip up and any chance of fixing this would be lost.

Casey walked across the living room muttering a few choice comments. Olivia caught a few syllables certain the words 'SVU' 'nuts' and 'vacation' were in there somewhere. Casey seemed to finally run out of steam dropping onto the couch in a slump still shaking her head.

Olivia followed her taking a seat on the coffee table their knees almost touching. She reached out, capturing one of Casey's hands. "I don't know why you're embarrassed. I'm pretty sure I was the one who stepped over the line," Olivia pointed out. The memory flashed before her eyes.

Hammond had stopped by the courthouse to deliver the news that Alex was gone only this time there would be no goodbye. His news had dropped the celebratory tone down two notches as the detectives and A.D.A. absorbed the news.

Cragen had refused to let them wallow in their misery herding them out the door and down the block to a nearby restaurant. Olivia had no doubt the end result had been unexpected all the way around. It was not like her or Elliot to drink to excess. Regardless, Cragen was left with two extremely inebriated detectives and one slightly buzzed A.D.A. Casey had volunteered to get Olivia back to her apartment while Cragen took charge of Elliot.

Casey waived down a cab once they were on the sidewalk pulling the detective into the back seat with her. Olivia cooperated long enough to rattle off her address before falling asleep on Casey's shoulder. It had seemed like hours when she had woken to Casey's insistent shaking.

Casey had requested the cabbie wait while she escorted the detective upstairs. Olivia couldn't remember what she had said in the short trip but she did recall maintaining a running commentary all the way to her door. She vaguely recalled Casey's amused exasperation as Olivia repeatedly failed to get her key into the lock. Casey had finally taken charge and within seconds Olivia was stumbling into the apartment.

What had happened next was still only a hazy blur. Olivia remembered turning to the attorney to offer her thanks and stumbling. Casey had caught her before she hit the floor. They had ended up off balance a wall the only thing keeping them upright. Olivia had dimly registered Casey holding her a little longer than required. The detective had regained her footing holding Casey's gaze before moving in to capture her lips.

The kiss had lasted what seemed like minutes before Casey had pushed her away. "Olivia," her name had been uttered in the cool tone of reason. Not exactly in the mood to listen to reason Olivia had leaned in to kiss Casey again.

This time when the attorney had pushed Olivia back she had made it clear she wasn't interested in the detective's affections. Actually if Olivia was honest she had no clear memory of the words that had passed between them. Only that Casey had managed to park Olivia on her couch before leaving the detective alone in her apartment.

The next morning Olivia had struggled through a monster hangover the few brief flashes of the previous night returning to haunt her. Olivia wasn't sure what kind of damage she had done to her relationship with the A.D.A. but she had been in no hurry to find out.

The memory passed in a flash and Olivia focused on the hand clasped in her own. She looked up to find Casey watching her curiously.

"I guess that's one way of looking at it," Casey admitted her tone making it obvious she didn't agree completely. Casey was distracted by the soft touch, her eyes drawn to Olivia's fingers as they caressed her own. She was confused by the detective's signals. She had no idea what Olivia wanted and the memory of a similar situation crept into to her consciousness.

Olivia had avoided Casey repeatedly since that night. Casey finally cornered her after court one morning requesting Olivia stop by her office before heading back to the bull pen. Olivia had agreed brushing off her partner's questioning look.

The detective opted to follow the attorney not seeing any point in dragging this out any further. Olivia reached the office first taking a seat as she waited for Casey to finish giving instructions to the office clerk on the court files she was dropping off. Olivia was absently picking at a piece of lint on her pants when Casey finally arrived.

The A.D.A. shut the door behind her before setting her briefcase on the desk. Olivia watched as Casey hung her jacket on a rack before turning her attention to her visitor. Olivia expected the lawyer to take her usual seat but Casey had surprised her by leaning against the desk her arms crossed as she gave Olivia an appraising look.

"You've been avoiding me," it wasn't an accusation just a statement of fact. Casey patiently waited for Olivia's response.

The detective had given her a sheepish look before breaking eye contact. "I'm sorry Casey," Olivia tried to apologize for the other night but was interrupted before she could finish.

"I'm not," Olivia was startled by the reply. Looking up she was slightly unnerved with the ease Casey had delivered the confession. As she watched Casey pushed off the desk closing the short distance between them. A soft touch caressed Olivia's cheek before Casey dipped in to kiss her gently.

If Olivia had been surprised by the words she was stunned by the actions. It took her a moment to react and when she did she found herself pushing out of the chair almost in a panic. Casey had stepped back quickly giving Olivia some space, obviously caught off guard by Olivia's response.

Olivia put her hands up signaling Casey to hold her position. Olivia turned her back on the attorney taking a few steps across the office to increase the distance between them.

"Casey," Olivia stumbled to a stop not sure what to say. Since Casey's rejection the other night Olivia had spent the better part of a week mentally listing every single reason pursuing anything beyond a friendship with the lawyer was impossible. Following Casey back to her office today Olivia had anticipated a number of possible scenarios and still Casey had managed to amaze her with something completely unexpected.

Olivia turned to find the attorney once again leaning against her desk her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose as she shook her head slowly. "I did not misread the signals," Casey stated firmly. Olivia wasn't sure if the statement was to convince her or the woman speaking.

"Signals, who am I kidding," Casey demanded as she pushed off the desk her hands raised in a questioning gesture. "If I hadn't put the breaks on the other night you wouldn't have woken up on your couch alone," Casey surmised.

Olivia felt her face burning, no doubt in her mind that Casey was right. The thought was quickly followed up by a deep sense of dread as she considered the consequences such an impetuous act would have had on her professional life. As if she hadn't already been taught a lesson by the one night stand with Brian Cassidy five years ago Olivia silently chastised herself.

"Casey, I'm sorry. It's not you, it's me," Olivia tried to explain. She watched Casey's face grow stony as the tired cliché rolled off Olivia's lips.

"Well that's a new record. Usually I get the benefit of sleeping with someone before they cart out the old it's not you routine," Casey retorted dryly.

Olivia resisted the urge to close her eyes and stomp her foot in frustration. This conversation was barreling down hill like an out of control freight train with Casey as its conductor and Olivia waiting haplessly at the bottom chained to the tracks.

"Olivia," Casey's tone had cooled and Olivia tried not to flinch under the icy gaze of the redhead.

"I don't know what you want from me and obviously neither do you. So until you do let's just forget any of this ever happened." Casey suggested.

Olivia wanted to refuse the offer but common sense took charge forcing her head to nod in agreement. Olivia wanted to say something, anything, to repair the damage but words failed her. Casey had already turned her back on the detective busy with something on her desk that Olivia could not see.

Olivia cleared her throat watching Casey stiffen as she waited for Olivia to speak. But Olivia just couldn't come up with any words that seemed adequate. As the silence stretched Olivia gave up, making her way to the door. Casey never acknowledged her softly uttered goodbye as Olivia pulled the door softly shut behind her.

Casey for her part was battling a wide array of emotions that broke through the surface when she heard the low click of the lock as the door slid closed. Casey rounded her desk falling into the empty chair before dropping her face into open hands. She hovered between extreme embarrassment and deep disappointment.

Casey had been unwilling to acknowledge her attraction to the detective before that night, dismissing it as impossible. Evidently she had read more into the other night than Olivia had meant. Obviously the detective had had a few too many drinks and made a mistake.

Unfortunately Casey wasn't going be able to hide behind any excuse except genuine desire. Unless someone had perfected the 'I had one latte to too many' defense while I was in here embarrassing myself Casey thought.

Casey's attention returned to the fingers wrapped around her own. She withdrew her hand her face burning from the embarrassment still fresh in her mind.


End file.
